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  5. The Diary of Elova Thelwen

The Diary of Elova Thelwen
Started by _PEACHGORE

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_PEACHGORE
Pronouns
She/Her
Characters
Elova Thelwen, Mistawen Saemundr, Iseva Baudelaire, Halla mhic Tumi, Willow Citranitas De-Marchesi
About 1 year ago • Last edited: about 1 year ago

[Page One]

Spoiler
For months, all anyone has told me is that I must rest. But how can I rest when there is always so much to be done? Always someone in need of healing, always someone in need of comfort.
 
I used to get comfort when I needed it, too. But lately, it seems like everyone is... drifting. And the comfort I recieve from those who are left just doesn't feel the same. It doesn't work anymore. Its like there's a barrier, now, between me and everyone else. A thick piece of fabric blanketing the rest of the world from me. Everything is muffled. Faded.
 
Meat is dead. Perila is dead. Two others, as well. I couldn't save Meat. My last conversation with Perila was tense at best. What good am I if I cannot save, cannot comfort?
 
My hands shake at the thought of leaving my home unless I'm visiting one of the shrines. I left flowers for the fallen with the Lady of the Lake. I sacrificed more to the Dragon. Sal told me that it would take care of them in the life that comes after.
 
I don't know if I believe him.
 
 
I want to.

[Page Two]

Spoiler
I went to the shrine of the Twinned Birds today. Or, well, yesterday I suppose. Viktoria was there. It's been too long since I last spoke to her. She seemed... More sad than she was before. We had a nice conversation, despite it. I told her how I've been feeling. How lonely I am. How I think I would be better off alone. No attachments means no pain, right?
 
She told me I needed to rest, and Fables if I haven't heard that enough lately. But instead of just telling me, she offered to help. That's more than anyone else has done.
 
Apparently she has an ability now, to put someone into a deep sleep. True rest. I agreed to it. A full day with no bothers, no worries? Sounded wonderful. And I was right. I haven't known a peace like that since... Well, I don't know if I've ever experienced it before. Or if I will again. I went by her and Blythe's home after I woke up, but neither of them were there. I hope I find her again soon. It was so peaceful. So restful.
 
 
I need to experience that peace again.
  • x8
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_PEACHGORE
Pronouns
She/Her
Characters
Elova Thelwen, Mistawen Saemundr, Iseva Baudelaire, Halla mhic Tumi, Willow Citranitas De-Marchesi
About 1 year ago

Spoiler
Marcel was there when I woke up. He seemed better. Happy. It didn't last long, though. I tried to leave, he tried to stop me. He was worried. He wanted to take me to the hospital. I wouldn't let him. I... I told him that I didn't need help. He went back to meditating, eventually. It hurt... so bad to let him leave. But hurt now means no hurt later, right? Loneliness for the sake of peace.
 
Viktoria came by not long after. I asked her to put me under that rest again. She told me to clean up the steps. I did. I thought she would accompany me home to at least do it in a safer space, but she led me to the pond behind the shrine instead. I didn't know there was a pond back there. It's pretty. Calm. Peaceful.
 
 
I was alone when I woke up.
  • x3

_PEACHGORE
Pronouns
She/Her
Characters
Elova Thelwen, Mistawen Saemundr, Iseva Baudelaire, Halla mhic Tumi, Willow Citranitas De-Marchesi
About 1 year ago

Spoiler
I went home, after I woke up. Meat was there. But she's dead. She could see and touch and hear me, which means I must be dead, too. I can't find my body. I looked all over town for it. Fables, I hope Konrad was able to save little Wynne. She deserves better.
 
I saw Lucian, too. He and Meat both think they're alive. Its delusion, they're dissociating from what's happened. I don't blame them. I don't want to believe that I'm dead, either. But I must be. That's the only explanation.
 
I feel horrible for Eibhlin- Maliketh is dead, too. Some fight with the rest of the Van Pelts, he must've been taken down. She deserves better, too. At least my magic still works, on the dead, anyway.
 
Being dead makes this all easier, at least. Now I don't have to keep pushing people away. I'm already gone.
 
 
I just wish I knew what happened to me...
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