OOC

Minecraft Username: TheDustWizard

Are you at least 18 years old?:Y

Have you read the rules? (Link):Y

(Optional) How did you hear about Avalore?:Minecraftservers.org

(Max. 1) Were you referred by someone? If so, please provide their in-game username:N/A

(Optional) Introduce yourself if you’d like, as well as any creations you want to share (e.g. art, builds, skins):I enjoy political and legal RP i have about 7 years experience in RP i tend to play lawful evil if you believe in alignment charts

—

In-Character

Read the following prompt:

The rhythmic lull of hoofbeats are a marching drum to the small group of pioneers and variety of folk you have found yourself amongst, packed into a wobbling wagon. The rolling plains of the Southern Reach and a clear sky stretch out all around you, the buzz of excited chatter a dull wash in your ears as your mind strays to your former life and what has led you here to new lands.

“Nervous?”

You blink, returning to the present moment. A kindly older woman sat near you is smiling warmly with a crinkle to her eyes.

“I can tell it’s your first time. Still remember mine,” she flashes a grin and leans in.

“Tell me my dear, why have you come to the Reach?”

How do you respond (in character)? (250 word minimum - please make sure to include at least three references to our lore in your response, with two coming from different pages in the Compendium.  Two of the three selected should also be in-depth, avoid simply name-dropping lore terms. Tie the terms into your character's backstory. Why are they important to them?)

—A pale man in dark but fine clothing would stand before them he had a small pack only the essentials with him. he would seem lightly armed if they saw his weapons at all. his hair dark well maintained slicked straight back the left side of his face scarred form burns to those familiar with the practice the marks were made by arcane means. he would be human from the Mist Isles his features soft and agreeable yet hold an eerie tone to them. "I come to make a name for myself" the woman would raise a brow hoping to hear more the man looked forward being a solitary sort who tended to keep his thoughts to himself, information was currency and the less he gave the more he could get for it "Tell me your story dear" the woman would further ask hoping to prompt more "If you insist i will tell" while he felt annoyance at the curiosity he would never the less indulge her and not show it on his face to keep appearances up "I come from a wealthy family in the isles, merchants, as the eldest son I took over after my parents died. many in the community and former partners of my parents doubted my aptitude they think i am only where i am with the resources i have due to my parents. It is my intent to prove them all wrong". the woman would look to him and chime in "Wealthy merchants eh? must be from Sirensong then?" The man would respond growing more irritated by the probative and curious woman "Yes that is right, it's the closest thing to a big city out there it makes city life feel comfortable it gave me an appreciation for larger areas. tight alley ways to hide in and the like." Sirensong was one of two major ports in the mist isles. it was a frequent stop for merchants and it was the major dry dock of the region. the woman would ask again "You said your parents died how did they go?" he would look to her and were it not for his disposition to appear friendly he would not answer "they fell victim to Necrophages, a drowner in particular. They were on a trade mission saw a castaway adrift thought it was a living, they ended up being wrong and dragged to the bottom of the ocean. i have a particular hatred for these accursed beings, their blood lust and need to feed on mortals is despicable. they have wronged me and my bloodline and I wish to ensure that every single one is hunted down and slain by any means necessary." 

Character Name: Garamond D'Fonte

Character Race: Mistan Human

Character Age: 30

Brief Physical Description:A man in dark but fine clothing. He would seem lightly armed if they saw his weapons at all. his hair dark well maintained slicked straight back the left side of his face scarred form burns to those familiar with the practice the marks were made by arcane means. he would be human from the Mist Isles his features soft and agreeable yet hold an eerie tone to them

Hello! Apologies for the delay. My name is Bliinx, and I'll be handling your whitelist application.

First off, the In-Character section requires at least three references to different lore terms and concepts in the Compendium, two of which need to be in depth. You're off to a good start with the Mist Isles and Sirensong, but I'll need at least one more from a different page and a little more information on the ones already selected before I can approve your application!

Next, one of Avalore's approaches to roleplay includes the idea that characters should arrive at the Spire with room to grow into themselves. Generally, this means the money/foreign influence/social prestige and the like that a character can arrive with does have some soft and hard limits. Garamond's motivation to prove his capabilities as a businessman is an excellent character premise, so long as any resources he inherited from deceased family are either represented mechanically (through something like the system's Background Feats) or primarily kept to know-how and something like well-made but mundane items, rather than a significant volume of raw wealth or material goods. Everything included is fine as-is for whitelist, so long as these guidelines are kept in mind.

Finally, I'd ask for some clarification on what it is that's intended to have killed Garamond's parents. This can be a revision to the section itself, or provided in a reply to this message.

Please reply below when you've made the necessary changes so I'll be notified!

Edited and hopefully fixed the reference to his parents passing was to be the third reference i was using vague language to refer to the vampirism using similar language to how it was used in the page so i cleared it up for you. otherwise yeah i wrote the influence and forging wealth with a background feat in mind.

Hello,

Your application has been denied due to the lack of proper punctuation and unreadable formatting (i.e. run-on sentences and no line-breaks).

You are welcome to re-submit your application with these changes. Thanks.