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Approved BuringSoul Whitelist Application [Approved - Bliinx]
Started by BuringSoul

OOC

Minecraft Username: BuringSoul

Are you at least 18 years old?: Yes

Have you read the rules? (Link): Yes

(Optional) How did you hear about Avalore?: Google mostly!

(Max. 1) Were you referred by someone? If so, please provide their in-game username:

(Optional) Introduce yourself if you’d like, as well as any creations you want to share (e.g. art, builds, skins): I'm someone who started MCRP with cringy Highschool RP (The weird kind) and then moved on to BWRP where I got my first taste of MCRP. Now, I'm hunting for more. I also love to draw and will share some drawings of previous MC OCs here too!image.png

Jiao is my OC from BWRP. I played her for about a year and a half there, later continuing her story in DND.

This is Cassian Sanador, a doctor I played on OCRP.

In-Character

Read the following prompt:

The rhythmic lull of hoofbeats are a marching drum to the small group of pioneers and variety of folk you have found yourself amongst, packed into a wobbling wagon. The rolling plains of the Southern Reach and a clear sky stretch out all around you, the buzz of excited chatter a dull wash in your ears as your mind strays to your former life and what has led you here to new lands.

“Nervous?”

You blink, returning to the present moment. A kindly older woman sat near you is smiling warmly with a crinkle to her eyes.

“I can tell it’s your first time. Still remember mine,” she flashes a grin and leans in.

“Tell me my dear, why have you come to the Reach?”

How do you respond (in character)(250 word minimum - please make sure to include at least three references to our lore in your response, with two coming from different pages in the Compendium.  Two of the three selected should also be in-depth, avoid simply name-dropping lore terms. Tie the terms into your character's backstory. Why are they important to them?)

Looking up with burning eyes, their voice raspy as if they have been screaming for days on end, their mouth forming the words before they speak, almost in practice: "An adventure. The need for something new. Finding tales unseen by those I care about." they look to the side, allowing their hair to fall down their face as a curtain to the old lady. Hesitant - and refusing - to continue their conversation as she recalls the events that led to this.

Amarith, their fighter and friend Greating, had fallen during a Fireborne Crusade to explore the north, the unexplored tundra with the goal of setting up homes where previously uninhabitable. A handful of them had gone together, Amarith and Onyth a pair who had fought in the wilderness of the Ashlands together. They crawled through ash, burnt them selves more times than they can count. Together, they used Ashhounds to continue hunts when stuck, seeing them as a member of their small family. Onyth fondly remembers watching the Igneous Crawlers basking near gysers. They were able to cross into the Tundra, the cold being a harsh reminder of the climate they call home, and how far away they are from it. As they set up camp on a particularly misty evening, they heard a screech, one of terror. Even simply remembering the screech sends shivers down Onyths' spine. 

What happened after the screech, is a blur. Onyth doesn't remember more other than a beak, eyes staring at them and revealing the creature as a Mournshade. Across from them, Amarith lay fallen. Onyth couldn't find anyone else from that Crusade, and chose to run. Their hair getting caught on branches, darkened hands a stark contrast to the pure, white snow around them. 

Onyth chooses not to remember the rest. They don't want to remember how they ended up scarred and burned back home. They don't want to remember the looks of dissapointment from those at home. They don't want to remember anything. Returning to ordinary life was not possible despite trying. In light of an opportunity for a new start, Onyth continues their journey and holding Amarith close to their heart.

Character Name: Onyth

Character Race: Fey-touched 

Character Age: 27

Brief Physical Description: They have bright red eyes, visually akin to a flame burning - though lacking the glow. Their skin is olive, darkening at the hands with black scales crawling up their arms and legs. They keep their nails sharp to resemble talons. They have red hair, dyed black at the bottom using coal and charcoals. They are incredibly lean and look very malnourished as a constant, their shorter (150cm) frame only making it look worse. They also have constant rings under their eyes, be it genetically or through lack of sleep since their failed crusade.

I just need to add the overlay layers and a small Figura for long hair flowy behind her and the Ombre but this should give an idea of the vibe I have for her!

edit: and the dragon scales and hand gradient

Ok that's them!

Hello! My name is Blinx, and I'll be reviewing your whitelist application. Apologies for the delay.

First off, while the crusade and the mention of the Mournshade are excellent details, your application needs to contain at least 3 references to lore in the Compendium, 2 of which must be from different pages. At the moment, while the Mournshade is referenced by name, the only other lore I could find alluding to a compendium page is the mention of the tundra referenced. I'd guess you mean the land north of the Ashlands, which while from the page itself does not actually reference a location within the known world directly! Everything currently present is fine, so I'd ask for an addition here or there to reference a few other things from the other pages a little more overtly. This could be about the Fireborne or the Ashlands if Onyth is intended to be Fireborne, for instance.

Next! I have three primary notes about the Appearance section:

  • Onyth's eyes are described as "burning". If this is a description of the colour and doesn't imply the eyes glow or otherwise emit light, we're good to go!
  • A similar note about Onyth's nails and being described as "talon-like". While they can certainly be kept sharp, Fey-Touched have the same nail structure as humans IRL. Claws, IRP, can be obtained through a few sources so be mindful with this description.
  • Currently, Fey-Touched are not able to begin with grey hair for reasons unrelated to aging or other IRL causes. 

If you could look over these points and make the changes requested, we'll be able to proceed. Leave a reply in the thread when you have, so I'll be notified!

Thank you for getting back to me! I'm going to go through them by point too just for clarification purposes.
- In regards to the lore, I assumed that the Crusade (1), Mournshade (2), Location of Tundra in the North (3) and the alliance between Fey-touched and Greatings in Fireborn (4) would be plenty. I see I didn't explicitly state that Onryths friend was a Greating so that's on me.

- Yes the Burning is simply flavour and that is all, they do not actually glow. I tried to make her looking like an ember being lit alight

- "Their nails are kept sharp to resemble talons", so just pointed and spikey nothing else special about them

- I was unaware of the hair colour restriction, I do not think it was mentioned in lore. Would a darker red, keeping the charcoal fade in it be more appropriate?

 

Thank you again for your help! Excited to RP soon(tm)

Ok Edits are in and this is their new skin. Let me know if any other changes need to be made!

~ [ Welcome! ] ~

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