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Denied _iDim's Whitelist Application [Denied - Moony]
Started by _iDim

OOC

Minecraft Username: _iDim

Are you at least 18 years old?: Yes.

Have you read the rules? (Link): Yes.

In-Character

Read the following prompt:

The rhythmic lull of hoofbeats are a marching drum to the small group of pioneers and variety of folk you have found yourself amongst, packed into a wobbling wagon. The rolling plains of the Southern Reach and a clear sky stretch out all around you, the buzz of excited chatter a dull wash in your ears as your mind strays to your former life and what has led you here to new lands.

“Nervous?”

You blink, returning to the present moment. A kindly older woman sat near you is smiling warmly with a crinkle to her eyes.

“I can tell it’s your first time. Still remember mine,” she flashes a grin and leans in.

“Tell me my dear, why have you come to the Reach?”

How do you respond (in character)(250 word minimum - please make sure to include at least three references to our lore in your response, with two coming from different pages in the Compendium.  Two of the three selected should also be in-depth, avoid simply name-dropping lore terms. Tie the terms into your character's backstory. Why are they important to them?)

 

Faelael looks up from her seat - hands clutching a sheathed shortsword with an engraved handle - though it's old enough that whatever was engraved on it has long since faded. If you squint, you think you can see the emblem of a sheep. The sword looks ceremonial, not to be used practically. Her ears twitch before she clears her throat, focusing on the human. Her common is accented, and she occasionally slips into the ancient tongue.

 

"I.. Ah. I seek a patron. To learn. There are stories of the one who walks. The old one. Xinshi. I wish to meet his servants. To learn from him."

 

She grows quiet, fingers drumming against her leg. Shifting her gaze to outside the wagon, she observes the rolling hills with unabashed curiosity. 

 

"It's green. Very - verdant, yes? Where I am from - Sharuul - it is golden. All grasslands. Very few forests."

 

Quieting, she glances back out at the plains. Dotted with the sparse copses of trees, wind gently buffeting the green grasses. In the distance, the silence of an abandoned village catches her eye - chipped paint of old Elvish insignias and centuries old buildings finally crumbling - all that was left of the Aedall. She refocuses, gripping her families sword tighter. As the caravan inches deeper and deeper into the Southern Reaches, the clouds slowly begin to part - revealing the Spire in it's grandeur. A sharp spear piercing the sky, the town surrounding it appearing as small as mushrooms around a tree. Faelael opens her mouth, and closes it again. This was what once was. What was before the fall. Surely, this was what the Aedall sought. But was it for good, or for ill?

Character Name: Faelael du Leon

Character Race: Arsa Sidhe

Character Age: 24

 Brief Physical Description: An elf with tanned, slightly golden skin and bright yellow eyes. She's thin, with long, dark-brown hair. 

Image of Skin and Figura Model:

 

Hello! My name is Blinx, and I'll be handling your whitelist application.

First, while I see the mention of Sharuul and the implication of Faelael's weapon being a Korami family blade, those are both relatively passing or kept implied, and will not be sufficient on their own for Compendium lore mentions. I'd ask for some elaboration on Faelael's upbringing or relation to Sharuul, the significance her family blade has to her, or any other elements you could flesh out further to help demonstrate understanding.

Additionally, regarding the ruins Faelael passes. While the Reach does hold Aedellian ruins, I'll ask for now the mention of that structure be removed. Most that do get spotlighted IRP are somewhat significant and carefully overseen, so I'd prefer to keep it out of a whitelist application for the sake of simplicity!

Last, about Faelael's appearance. While elves can have shades of white, mauve and purple skin not found in humans, the colour used for her skintone is yellow rather than golden. You'll have to change the colour to something a little more naturalistic, and while gold or yellow undertones/overtones are fine the entire shade is not.

Please leave a reply here when you've made the necessary changes, so I'll be notified and can get back to you quickly!

 

Hello! Reminder to take a look back at the points outlined above, or I'll have to reject your application for inactivity.

This application is denied due to inactivity. Please reapply and take into consideration the mentor's critiques when you have more time available.