Minecraft Username: 0nrX

Are you at least 18 years old?: yes (July 10, 2004)

Have you read the rules? (Link): yes

(Optional) How did you hear about Avalore?: HollowWorld discord server

(Max. 1) Were you referred by someone? If so, please provide their in-game username: 

(Optional) Introduce yourself if you’d like, as well as any creations you want to share (e.g. art, builds, skins):

—

In-Character

Read the following prompt:

The rhythmic lull of hoofbeats are a marching drum to the small group of pioneers and variety of folk you have found yourself amongst, packed into a wobbling wagon. The rolling plains of the Southern Reach and a clear sky stretch out all around you, the buzz of excited chatter a dull wash in your ears as your mind strays to your former life and what has led you here to new lands.

“Nervous?”

You blink, returning to the present moment. A kindly older woman sat near you is smiling warmly with a crinkle to her eyes.

“I can tell it’s your first time. Still remember mine,” she flashes a grin and leans in.

“Tell me my dear, why have you come to the Reach?”

“Ah, no ma'am. I’ve come looking for my family. Not too sure if they are here, but I think they ought to be living East of The Spire. Oh. Where are my manors? My name is Cross.

“Ah, no ma'am.  I’ve only heard tales about this country. I’ve come looking for my family. Not too sure if they are here, but I think they ought to be living East of The Spire,”. At the end of his statement he grasped onto the strap pulling the bag close to him.

“Oh, a traveler are you? Or are you coming back from an expedition?”, her question was without merit as his wear was one you’d expect an adventurer would wear. The man confused at her question pondered for a moment.

“Oh, no. You see- I used to be a third mate for a ship trading company. We’ve heard tales of Southern Reach and The Spire but never went here as it was too far South for our routes.” He looked down at his wear since it was something he wasn’t accustomed to.

“Heh. I’m unsure what to expect..” Hunching forward, he looked out the back of the wagon they were in. The lady’s demeanor shifted but not her expression which was still soft, “Quite odd for a sea man to be this far in land, wontchu say?”

“No it is.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “I was raised in the Midlands with my father; a shroud man, didn’t like him. Left home one night and haven’t been back since a few weeks ago. When I got back my home, 'twas in ruin and overgrown. No sign of the old man but I found this here satchel with a map that I think belonged to my mother. Looks to be where she once lived.” Pulling out the map from his bag, she stretched out his hand for the woman to look at it. She said nothing and the man rolled it up and placed it back in the satchel.

“Well my dear boy, I wish all well to you and your travels. Albern River is coming up just ahead so if you need to break off from this wagon, that would be the best place to do so,”. The old lady gave the man a toothy grin.

“Much appreciated but I’ll be staying with the wagon all the way to The Spire.” The old lady leaned back and took in the surrounding noises. “We have another day until we make it to there, entertain this old lady with stories of your travels”.

—

Character Name: Cross (no last name since he never knew it)

Character Race: Half-race (Human-Arsa Sidhe)

Character Age: 26

Brief Physical Description: Medium slender build man. He has no physical traits of his Arsa Sidhe side besides when he has scars which appear dark purple in color. Eyes are lapis shaded with his short, underkept hair, a dark shade of burnt red that is noticeable when in light. His face is older looking in part for his stubble beard with his ears are human shaped.

Image of Skin and Figura Model:

Hello! My name is Merry, and I'll be handling your application. Your application is a good starting point, but in addition to some grammar checks and fixing some repetition, I have a few questions on your lore references. 

- You mention that Cross's family comes from "East of the Spire". By that, do you mean somewhere in the Amafells or Falstone, or were you meaning to imply that his family lived in the Southern Reach and were Aedall? If it's the latter, then the family history will need to be an old one, as the Aedall disappeared many years ago. His mother likely could not have lived in the Southern Reach.
- You also mentioned that Cross lived with his father in the Midlands, and while it's not necessary if you chose to go with another in-depth lore reference, you could expand a little on if he lived in Valkian Realm and what growing up there might have been like.
- While your lore references are technically from different pages in compendium, they do all seem to be geographical references. Consider seeing if you could add something from another section. 

On the grammar, it's a little hard to tell who is speaking when, and if Cross is repeating himself or if that's a typo at the start. As another note, while the old woman is a part of the prompt, we don't really need to see how she responds to your character. 

Please reply to this once you've made your edits! I will also need to know if you are in the discord or not.

Minecraft Username: 0nrX

Are you at least 18 years old?: yes (July 10, 2004)

Have you read the rules? (Link): yes

(Optional) How did you hear about Avalore?: HollowWorld discord server

(Max. 1) Were you referred by someone? If so, please provide their in-game username: 

(Optional) Introduce yourself if you’d like, as well as any creations you want to share (e.g. art, builds, skins):

—

In-Character

Read the following prompt:

The rhythmic lull of hoofbeats are a marching drum to the small group of pioneers and variety of folk you have found yourself amongst, packed into a wobbling wagon. The rolling plains of the Southern Reach and a clear sky stretch out all around you, the buzz of excited chatter a dull wash in your ears as your mind strays to your former life and what has led you here to new lands.

“Nervous?”

You blink, returning to the present moment. A kindly older woman sat near you is smiling warmly with a crinkle to her eyes.

“I can tell it’s your first time. Still remember mine,” she flashes a grin and leans in.

“Tell me my dear, why have you come to the Reach?”

“Ah, no ma'am.  I’ve only heard tales about this country. I’ve come looking for my family. Not too sure if they are here, but I think they ought to be living in the Spire". At the end of his statement he grasped onto the strap pulling the bag close to him.

“A traveler are you? Or are you coming back from an expedition?” she asked.

“No. You see- I used to be a third mate for a ship trading company. We’ve heard tales of Southern Reach and The Spire but never went here as it was too far South for our routes. I’m unsure what to expect.” Hunching forward, he looked out the back of the wagon they were in. The lady’s demeanor shifted but not her expression which was still soft, “Quite odd for a sea man to be this far in land, wontchu say? Are you by chance Mistan?”

“No. I was raised in the Midlands with my mother North in Vocomte de Coteaux. Raised as a Korami but after spending time at sea I’ve adopted some ideals of Mistan. Some of the men in the crew were Mistan and the conversations we had while working has made me open up to other beliefs in cultures. My mother on the other hand was a shroud woman. I didn’t like her frankly. She never helped with the agriculture, never talked to me nor told me anything about my father. All I know is that he was Nua Sidhe. I left home one night and haven’t been back since a few weeks ago. When I got back home, it was in ruins and overgrown. No one saw her but I found this satchel with a map that I think belonged to my father. Looks to be where he once lived.” Pulling out a map with the bottom portion partly torn off from his bag, he stretched out his hand for the woman to look at it. The map showed the West lands and had traces of a drawn path that went down and continued on the torn part. She said nothing and the man rolled it up and placed it back in the satchel. After that the conversation faded and Cross continued to look out the back of the wagon.

—

Character Name: Cross (no last name)

Character Race: Half-race (Human-Arsa Sidhe)

Character Age: 26

Brief Physical Description: Medium slender build man standing at 5’ 10” with a more than noticeable dark skin tone. He has no physical traits of his Arsa Sidhe (Elves) side besides when he has scars which appear dark purple in color. Eyes are lapis shaded with his short, underkept hair a dark shade of burnt red that is noticeable when in light. His face is older looking in part for his stubble beard with his ears are human shaped.

Image of Skin and Figura Model:

Just joined the discord. Thx for taking time to read and critique this

Hello! I've looked over your edits and while you're certainly on the right track, there are a few more things I would like to clarify. (Some of which are the same as the first go-round that I just missed, so sorry!)

- When you say raised Korami, are you meaning to imply his mother was from Koram, and raised him in those traditions despite living in the Midlands?- In the final paragraph, you mention the "West lands." By that, do you mean the western continent? Those would be the Koram lands, while the Southern Reach is on the easter continent. 
- In your description, you mention that his scars are dark purple, what do you mean by that?

- Looking at your skin, the hair seems to be almost a little magenta, which is not a color that humans or Arsa Sidhe can have naturally. If it's dyed, could you explain where the dye comes from?

Hello.

Yes I was implying that he was raised Koram. I would consider Cross to have some influence of Valk culture but didn't mention it to prevent confusion and I'm not sure if having beliefs in three different cultures would be plausible.

For the West Lands I mean the East Continent, had a brian fart there. Sorry about that.

The skin scarring description was an idea I meant to take out. The idea was his skin changes to dark purple like the elves when it scars.

For his hair, it was dyed with henna by his crew mates when he first joined the ship trading company. A lot of the men aboard were from The Pearl Coast. The color since then has faded turning it to the dark red/magenta color it is now.

Thanks

Welcome!

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