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Approved Chzoma's Application [Approved - Moony]
Started by Chzomaz

Minecraft Username:  Chzomazones

Are you at least 18 years old?: Yes

Have you read the rules? (Link): Of course 😎

(Optional) Were you referred by someone? If so, who: Medicai__

(Optional) Introduce yourself if you’d like, as well as any creations you want to share (e.g. art, builds, skins): Kinda of new to rp, I do some things sometimes, i build most the time, might do a mid ass drawing and try flex it to everyone. 

In-Character

Read the following prompt:

The rhythmic lull of hoofbeats are a marching drum to the small group of pioneers and variety of folk you have found yourself amongst, packed into a wobbling wagon. The rolling plains of the Southern Reach and a clear sky stretch out all around you, the buzz of excited chatter a dull wash in your ears as your mind strays to your former life and what has led you here to new lands.

“Nervous?”

You blink, returning to the present moment. A kindly older woman sat near you is smiling warmly with a crinkle to her eyes.

“I can tell it’s your first time. Still remember mine,” she flashes a grin and leans in.

“Tell me my dear, why have you come to the Reach?”

How do you respond (in character)(150 words minimum - please make sure to include some references to our lore in your response!)

Akae looked down at his boots; they had been worn down over the years. Hidden within the side of the heavy boot, A small dagger rested—the walljack's chosen weapon, chipped and well used from past adventures, reflected the candlelight inside the wagon. “Uh, my brother should already be at the Reach by now... Im supposed to meet him there. It was his choice to come here, something about wanting a more fulfilling life. Hm, I didn't mind my old one; it was... liveable. The swamp isn't the most pleasant, I gotta admit, but it might be better here." It was after Akae's own father's death when he met his brother, Edgard, and ever since that day he'd trust his brother with almost anything. Like other walljacks he'd even lay down his life for his brother. It had crossed his mind a few times whether Edgard was his blood or not due to the drastic differences in appearances; perhaps he was a half-greatling or just small for the race. Whatever he was didn't matter much to him now, as he will soon be in a much different life. The wagon would shake Akae around a fair bit as the horses out front trotted ahead.  As well as himself being shook as were his belongings; a rough chunk of bread for the journey along with miscellaneous items from towns, forests, and the road.

Character Name: Akae

Character Race: Human (Believes he may be just a short half-greatling)

Character Age: 22

Brief Physical Description: Scruffy blond hair sat upon his head—not much was shared looks wise with his ‘brother’ apart from his slight green eyes and muddied, smiling face. He was much smaller aswell—at 5'10, opposed to the 7’8 his brother stood at. 

Hey there Chzoma! I'm Moony and I'll be working on your application. 

Your story is on the right tracks. However, I see some notable grammatical errors that can easily be rectified with a quick edit. I would like if you just did a spellcheck of sorts and also made sure you had apostrophes and capitalizations in the correct places, such as where you use "i" in the lowercase form by itself. 

Also, I don't really see any mention of lore in your written test. Your character says they're from the swamps, does that mean they're a Walljack? If they are, could you mention that other than in the small portion about his dagger? Also as with height, is your character a half-Greatling, or full human? If they're full human then it should be noted that the height of the brother would be too tall, but if your brother is Edgard then your character would also be a half-Greatling.

If you have any questions or concerns feel free to reach out to me in this thread, here on the forums in a DM, or you can privately message me through the Avalore Discord, my name is also Moony there. 

I look forward to your response! 

- Congratulations and Welcome -

Your whitelist application is approved. The server runs on 1.18.2 and you can connect using the IP: mc.avalore.net.

Consider creating a profile for your character in the Character Profiles section of the forums!

If you have any questions feel free to reach out to me or another member of our Community team either on the forums or through our Discord.