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Denied whitlisting [Denied - Moony]
Started by gamerdoctor44

Minecraft Username: Gamerdoctor44

Are you at least 18 years old?: yes

Have you read the rules? (Link): yes

(Optional) Were you referred by someone? If so, who: MotherChai

(Optional) Introduce yourself if you’d like, as well as any creations you want to share (e.g. art, builds, skins):

In-Character

Read the following prompt:

The rhythmic lull of hoofbeats are a marching drum to the small group of pioneers and variety of folk you have found yourself amongst, packed into a wobbling wagon. The rolling plains of the Southern Reach and a clear sky stretch out all around you, the buzz of excited chatter a dull wash in your ears as your mind strays to your former life and what has led you here to new lands.

“Nervous?”

You blink, returning to the present moment. A kindly older woman sat near you is smiling warmly with a crinkle to her eyes.

“I can tell it’s your first time. Still remember mine,” she flashes a grin and leans in.

“Tell me my dear, why have you come to the Reach?”

How do you respond (in character)(150 words minimum - please make sure to include some references to our lore in your response!)

— 

“I turned towards the other lady, giving her my full attention as I slightly stutter over my words” well you see I wanted to “I stuttered, trying to mask my accent Since she was a Falstoner in the south east and speaking many languages they picked up their own accent from their years of travel. ” It was very cold where I was from so I would love to start a new somewhere else warmer,and I've heard many good things about the Spire and I feel like there could be a future for myself where I start a whole new journey separate from cold, dead winters. Ever since the great disappearance, we have been suffering from the fall of the economy as the people disappeared in mass, worrying about my family's survival through the cold nights as we have to move almost overnight to different villages and time after time no one was seen. It was hard for those many light cycles we barely scraped by till my family had found some semblance of civilization; those very few we were not left to feel as if we were the only ones left. But in the end I just need something different" I give her an attempt at a warm smile as I return my gaze back to the endless field. I took off my coat, glad I could be rid of such heavy gear and dress considerably lighter in this new world I find myself in, I yelled ” TODAY IS THE DAY! “ Not realizing the outburst I caused, the wagon's attention is directed to me noticing my errors. I jump off the wagon walking the rest of the way there.

Character Name: Mya

Character Race:  human 

Character Age: 32

Brief Physical Description: short and stubby, short brown hair with white streak, she wears kimono and she has brown skin with green eyes

Hello Gamerdoctor44, I'm Moony and I'll be handling your application today. 

I think you're on the right track, however there are a few issues that we need to fix before we can go further. Starting off simple, humans are unable to have red eyes. Humans are able to have eyes that are greens, browns, blue-greys, or blue.

Furthermore, your written test doesn't have any lore in it, and we do ask that you include some lore in that. Maybe think about the culture your character belongs to? Where she came from? Things like that would be interesting to sprinkle into the story for Mya. Please look at the Compendium to find some cultural lore and double-check what features humans are able to have.

I look forward to your response!

I have made changes to the og post do they abide you your rules now

 

Hey gamerdoctor44! Sorry for the late response as I've been traveling and my timezones are out of whack. 

 

If you could do one thing for me, it would be to expand on how the Great Collapse affected Mya's family. Thank you for changing the eye color!

okay maybe i have hit the mark this time but doubtful let me know if am okay or not 

 

Unfortunately I'm going to have to deny you at this time.

You can, and are welcome to, re-apply once you've read and understand the lore. We would have liked to see more writing involving the lore in an impactful way.

If you have any questions regarding this decision feel free to reach out to me through the Forums.