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Approved Whitelist Application - Folken Dragomir [Approved - Moony]
Started by Chi13iM

OOC

Minecraft Username: DelightfullyM4D

Are you at least 18 years old?:  Yes

Have you read the rules? (Link):  Yes

(Optional) Were you referred by someone? If so, who:

(Optional) Introduce yourself if you’d like, as well as any creations you want to share (e.g. art, builds, skins):

In-Character

Read the following prompt:

The rhythmic lull of hoofbeats are a marching drum to the small group of pioneers and variety of folk you have found yourself amongst, packed into a wobbling wagon. The rolling plains of the Southern Reach and a clear sky stretch out all around you, the buzz of excited chatter a dull wash in your ears as your mind strays to your former life and what has led you here to new lands.

“Nervous?”

You blink, returning to the present moment. A kindly older woman sat near you is smiling warmly with a crinkle to her eyes.

“I can tell it’s your first time. Still remember mine,” she flashes a grin and leans in.

“Tell me my dear, why have you come to the Reach?”

How do you respond (in character)(150 words minimum - please make sure to include at least three references to our lore in your response, with two coming from different pages in the Compendium.) 

"For a few reasons miss..." I say, idly nudging my spectacles back up onto my nose, "Firstly... my sister ventured out into the Reach a few years ago, on her own venture to try and research what she could about the fall of Aedall, perhaps even find some information or clues as to our families history in the process... my sister was certain our lineage came from that civilization, but why our ancestors left before the Collapse is unknown.  My sister wanted to find out more about that... and I would as well.  If she is... dead, well I wish to at least finally get closure on that, but if she's still alive, still out there... I will find her!"

Clears throat, calming myself down and resuming a more academic demeanor

"My other motive is more personal I suppose.  I'm interested in the arcane, Artifice in particular.  I believe that my ancestors in Aedall were quite skilled in it, among other forms of Arcana, and as a clockmaker by trade I've always been fascinated by the idea of magic and machine working in tandem.  To that end, I wish to seek out the Spire, because it seems to be one of the few good clues left regarding Aedall, and everything I've heard about it suggests it's a marvel of magic and engineering both.  I can't help but think of the many uses and applications that could be gained if I were to rediscover long lost secrets of Artifice... maybe my family back in the Duchy of Rulan could finally gain some kind of prominence instead of being trapped in our menial lives.  Maybe if I could learn more about that art, I could use it to finally allow my father the rest he so rightly deserves after the years he's spent helping to maintain the Wall, working so me and my sister could finally do something more than grunt labor, working himself nearly to death in the process.  And maybe, just maybe, if I were to discover something truly monumental in my exploration of the Spire... maybe there's some way to bring Aedall back... or at the very least remake it.  A place where we Arsa Sidhe can finally and truly call home again."

Reaches down and picks up the satchel, bulging with a variety of little gadgets and trinkets, then looks back at the woman with a small smile

"And if nothing else, even if my other ambitions come to nothing... there's always treasure to be found, yes?  If nothing else, some of the valuables and artifacts I may happen to find during my excursion will have made this all worthwhile.  Regardless... I will not let this venture into the Reach be a waste."

Character Name:  Folken

Character Race:  Arsa Sidhe 

Character Age: 28

Brief Physical Description:  Tall and willowy, with a slight build and pale almost alabaster skin and almost equally white hair.  His heterochromic eyes are a piercing blue on the left and an intense golden amber on the right.  A large pair of spectacles sits on his rather thin nose, and his slender frame is garbed in extravagant yet well-traveled clothes of dark blues, greys, with bits of silver and gold embroidery

Hello! I'm Moony and I'll be handling your application. So far you're on the right track. I like the direction you've set for this character. However, before I can continue processing this application I would love if you could relate the lore you've chosen to your character more and have a more in-depth mention of it, rather than a name-drop to show you've really read the lore!

If you have any questions or concerns feel free to message me here or on Discord where I am also Moony.

Alright, made a few small changes to try and connect more to the lore.  Mostly involved a long-lost sister trying to find the Spire and going missing, and reference to being a noble house in the Duchy before everything went sour.  Any suggestions on how better to include the Collapse though, since it's kind of part of his character that he's trying to learn more about the details of it so in-character he wouldn't really know much yet

  • x1
Chi13iM:

Alright, made a few small changes to try and connect more to the lore.  Mostly involved a long-lost sister trying to find the Spire and going missing, and reference to being a noble house in the Duchy before everything went sour.  Any suggestions on how better to include the Collapse though, since it's kind of part of his character that he's trying to learn more about the details of it so in-character he wouldn't really know much yet

I wouldn't mention being part of a noble house in the Duchy of Rulan. If you look at their lore in the Compendium you will see that they're part of their own noble house under the Valkian Empire. If you want your character to have a noble background, you'll need to ask about that and the lore team will take a look at it together. 

You could mention your character's desire to make something of themselves while learning about magic and seeking thrilling adventure and new opportunities, as well as looking for their sister. It could also be nice to mention a specific type of magic your character may be interested in. 

Chi13iM:

Alright, made a few small changes to try and connect more to the lore.  Mostly involved a long-lost sister trying to find the Spire and going missing, and reference to being a noble house in the Duchy before everything went sour.  Any suggestions on how better to include the Collapse though, since it's kind of part of his character that he's trying to learn more about the details of it so in-character he wouldn't really know much yet

I wouldn't mention being part of a noble house in the Duchy of Rulan. If you look at their lore in the Compendium you will see that they're part of their own noble house under the Valkian Empire. If you want your character to have a noble background, you'll need to ask about that and the lore team will take a look at it together. 

You could mention your character's desire to make something of themselves while learning about magic and seeking thrilling adventure and new opportunities, as well as looking for their sister. It could also be nice to mention a specific type of magic your character may be interested in. 

I looked through the Compendium and couldn't find any references to Magic, or rather what types of magic specifically exist in the setting.  Is it freeform and I can just kind of come up with whatever I want?  Or is there specific types of magic that are a thing in the setting?

Beyond that, I removed the noble family part since it's not super integral to the character concept, instead kind of suggesting that he and his family are something like remnants of the disappeared Aedall and he wants to learn how they vanished which is a main motivator for him along with finding out about his vanished sister.

Chi13iM:

I looked through the Compendium and couldn't find any references to Magic, or rather what types of magic specifically exist in the setting.  Is it freeform and I can just kind of come up with whatever I want?  Or is there specific types of magic that are a thing in the setting?

Beyond that, I removed the noble family part since it's not super integral to the character concept, instead kind of suggesting that he and his family are something like remnants of the disappeared Aedall and he wants to learn how they vanished which is a main motivator for him along with finding out about his vanished sister.

Your character could have Aedall ancestors, but your character would have to be much older. Arcane is in a different section of the forum than the Compendium. It wouldn't count towards the lore count but it would help with the formation of your character. I like the idea of wanting to learn more about the history though! Just change the sister to be a different part.

In regards to his sister, I will clear it up that her disappearance is not actually due to the Collapse... her disappearance is it's own separate thing because she went out specifically to investigate the disappearance of Aedall.  I'll make that more clear in my next go.

And yeah, found the magic area so will add that in as well.

Anyways, pretty much re-wrote the whole thing to try and make it more clear and concise while still keeping the major beats I had in mind.

Thanks for the help and the patience

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