The following is an unwritten (he can't write), unread (he can't read), and unfiltered (he can't filter) account of Harold's accumulated knowledge of everything otherworldly and abnormal.
On Passageway etiquette:
Doors are passageways for spirits and other nasty beings alike. They stick to your shoes, your shadows, and even your basket of apples if you aren't careful. Luckily there is a SIMPLE AND EASY trick to prevent any spirit from entering your homestead. Knock thrice on the doorframe. Once on each side, and once on the horizontal below or above. In doing so, any spirit that sticks to you will be forbidden from entering through that same passageway until the seal is broken by another's entering or leaving without knocking. BEWARE: If a home is sealed through knocking and a spirit is already inside, they also will be incapable of leaving. THIS WILL AGITATE THE SPIRIT INTO BEING UNBARDIC. Best practice is therefore to always seal one's home and getting guests to do the same, and additionally performing other spirit-cleansing activities with an OPEN SEAL at dusk and dawn. In this way, you do not behave UNBARDICALLY towards the spirits themselves. SPIRITS ARE KNOWN BARDIC ENTITIES UNTIL AGITATED. MOST INCIDENTS WITH SPIRITS OCCUR ONLY WHEN WE BEHAVE UNBARDICAL TOWARDS THEM.
Note: Never, ever, EVER, EEEEEEVERRRRRR, seal public spaces using this method. /Especially/ churches and taverns. If someone told you "HEY YOU CANNOT BE A GOOD FABLE-FEARING CITIZEN OF THE REACH AND CANT FORGET YOUR SINS IN THE TAVERN, FUCK YOU", you too would begin behaving unbardic-like. Keep this in mind.
Note on this note: If one were to erect a doorframe in the middle of nowhere and seal it, this is a known BARDIC move, and it will please all known entities and spirits. It is therefore good practice to have a doorframe on hand in case of emergency.
On Feypebbles:
Feypebbles are a CHEAP and EASY way for you to detect Fey and other otherwordly creatures in your neighbourhood. It combines three known attractors and redirectors into a lure that will GUARANTEE you knowledge of nearby FEY-AND-OTHER-NONSENSE creatures.
ALMOST-PERFECTLY-ROUND PEBBLES: These are the most CRUCIAL and DIFFICULT-TO-GET component. If these are not nearly-round enough, the whole thing WILL JUST NOT WORK. So it is KEY for any good FABLE-FEARING MAN to make sure they aren't just OBLONG or ROUND. They need to be round enough to stand out, and imperfect enough to be BARELY NOTICEABLE BUT VERY ANNOYING. Fey are known LIBERALS and will try to make CHANGE WHERE IT IS NOT NECESSARY, and thus try and PERFECT your PEBBLE by picking it up and RUBBING on it.
SALT: THIS IS SIMPLY TO WARD OFF EVIL SPIRITS. TRUST ME, BRÖTER, YOU DO NOT WANT AN EVIL SPIRIT MESSING WITH YOUR PEBBLE.
CILANTRO: This has no purpose aside from creating a lingering scent in the air that spirits don't know to wash off. If you smell CORIANDER, there is a SPIRIT that has touched a pebble in the vicinity. No sane person wants to smell like CORIANDER so this is FOOLPROOF.
Note-for-if-you-dont-get-it-like-an-idiot: To make feypebbles, make a little paste of the cilantro and salt and rub your pebble in it. Then just... put your pebble down anywhere you like... Like this isn't that hard.
On Blackthorn gates [EXPERIMENTAL]:
Evidence suggests there to be a CHANCE that if one were to make little gates out of twigs from the BLACKTHORN tree, it allows FEY-CREATURES to pass to our realm with more EASE AND WITHOUT MAJOR INJURY. The purpose of these is hitherto unknown as experiments are still ongoing and NECESSARY. Theories EXCLUDE the purposes to be in the realm of baking, mortal combat, and crocheting.
!!! BLACKTHORN IS A KNOWN-TO-BE-ENJOYED TREE BY FEY-CREATURES so DO NOT PLACE THESE GATES IN REACH OF CHILDREN AND PETS AS FEY ARE KNOWN LIBERAL CREATURES THAT MIGHT BE POISONOUS TO THE MINDS OF CHILDREN AND THE BODIES OF BOTH CHILDREN AND PETS !!!
