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Denied whitelist aplication - PotatoFan117 [Denied - 2kelp]
Started by FanOfThePotatoes

Minecraft Username: PotatoFan117

Are you at least 18 years old?: yes

Have you read the rules? (Link): yes

(Optional) How did you hear about Avalore?: through a friend

(Max. 1) Were you referred by someone? If so, please provide their in-game username: Arianthe22

(Optional) Introduce yourself if you’d like, as well as any creations you want to share (e.g. art, builds, skins):

In-Character

Read the following prompt:

The rhythmic lull of hoofbeats are a marching drum to the small group of pioneers and variety of folk you have found yourself amongst, packed into a wobbling wagon. The rolling plains of the Southern Reach and a clear sky stretch out all around you, the buzz of excited chatter a dull wash in your ears as your mind strays to your former life and what has led you here to new lands.

“Nervous?”

You blink, returning to the present moment. A kindly older woman sat near you is smiling warmly with a crinkle to her eyes.

“I can tell it’s your first time. Still remember mine,” she flashes a grin and leans in.

“Tell me my dear, why have you come to the Reach?”

How do you respond (in character)? (250 word minimum - please make sure to include at least three references to our lore in your response, with two coming from different pages in the Compendium.  Two of the three selected should also be in-depth, avoid simply name-dropping lore terms. Tie the terms into your character's backstory. Why are they important to them?)

Usage of AI to generate, modify or translate the writing on your application will result in denial of your whitelist. There will be no chance to re-apply afterwards.

— “. . .” the greatling did not answer at first, observing her and then the surroundings before finally speaking “. . . Greetings. . . .” standing up slowly and carefully

The older woman continued speaking, “Is everything alright?”

The Uncle “yes. .. . just. .. . light headed. . . .am searching for the stonerunners, know anything about it?”
The elderly woman smirked  “yes, quite the traders i must say”
The uncle cracked his neck “what can you tell me about them?”
She started pacing around “they are not quite spiritual folks. . . .OH did you know that they have Matriarchy rather than patriarchy?
“No. . .i did not. . .. continue speaking” gesturing to her as she nodded in response
“Woaen are the one leading families and communities, NOT MEN” she raised her voice on the last verse. 

The Uncle kept nodding “and where are they exactly?”
She rolled her eyes “tsk, you don't know? In the mountains of course! You're a greatling you should know this “ she said playfully
“No i do not” snarled back the elderly greatling back at her “ ive been . . .. taken away, lived most of my life as a Farmer in a far away lands and now that i have arrived back. . . .i wish to know my people”
She looked at him intrigued “hmmmm maybe you should visit the spire, juuuuust to rest a bit before you continue on your travels”
“The spire?. . .hmmmm alright, anything else you wish to tell me before i depart?”

“Ah yes. .. . .what happened to . . .. you?” she asked carefully as he gestured towards his faint burned scars
“. .. long story. .. . “ it seemed to be a tragic tale but in reality. . . .he just lost a bet in a drinking contest
“Anything else? Any warnings?
The elderly woman stood up swiftly!

“Do not go to the ashlands”

“. .. . okayyyyyy. . . .. “ after hearing that he leaves BUT before he is able the woman screams “OH also watch out for the dunkbears!” she jested.

But Uncle took it very seriously “dunkbears. .. . .got it” nodded and finally left, into the world unknown to this elderly greatling as he begins to. . . .yodel? How. . . unique

Character Name: Uncle Hick

Character Race:  Greatling

Character Age: 80

 Brief Physical Description: Giant old looking fella with big red horns and a great gray moustache, his body cowered in faint burned scars.

Image of Skin and Figura Model:

Hello, unfortunately I am going to have to deny your application.

This is due to numerous faults present in your whitelist application:

  • Extensive grammatical errors and overall poor quality writing. Avalore is a collaborative creative writing server and as such there are expectations of players to hold their writing to a certain degree of quality. As per the roleplay standards section of our rules, you are expected to give back what you take in. 
  • Misunderstanding of prompt. The point of the application prompt is to see how your character will react to another players' output and to flesh out your own character. While okay to write simple questions as the old lady in order to expand on your characters' response, much of the exposition is told from the NPC old lady, rather than your character.
  • Insufficient lore. While mentions are present in your whitelist, much of it seems to be random name-drops rather than being interwoven with your character and their life.
  • Skin errors. Greatling horns can not be red.

You are always welcome to reapply in future, should these errors be fixed!