OOC

Minecraft Username: Anton_Varrow

Are you at least 18 years old?: yes

Have you read the rules? (Link): yep

(Optional) How did you hear about Avalore?: from a friend

(Max. 1) Were you referred by someone? If so, please provide their in-game username: Killer24th

(Optional) Introduce yourself if you’d like, as well as any creations you want to share (e.g. art, builds, skins):

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In-Character

Read the following prompt:

The rhythmic lull of hoofbeats are a marching drum to the small group of pioneers and variety of folk you have found yourself amongst, packed into a wobbling wagon. The rolling plains of the Southern Reach and a clear sky stretch out all around you, the buzz of excited chatter a dull wash in your ears as your mind strays to your former life and what has led you here to new lands.

“Nervous?”

You blink, returning to the present moment. A kindly older woman sat near you is smiling warmly with a crinkle to her eyes.

“I can tell it’s your first time. Still remember mine,” she flashes a grin and leans in.

“Tell me my dear, why have you come to the Reach?”

How do you respond (in character)?: 

*I look up with curiosity not just at the scenery but also the people in the waggon, after a long moment I remember that I was just asked a question and quickly reply* "oh sorry, hmm i guess, to look for something better, *he says as he thinks back to the Ashlands, a place north but far from cold, a place of smoke, heat and death. Anton was a smart kid with a passion for smithing passed down from his father and loved his family above all. It wasn't long though before he started to not get along with his clan. After his only living family, his father died in combat in the Dragon Tongue Pass after a debilitating injury. Anton was bitter and hated how the others said he died honorably. If his father was so great, then why leave him like that. After that Anton became more and more convinced everyone around him were fools and that if it came down to it, he would claw every advantage he could to survive and live with everything he had. One day Anton was challenged to a duel by a son of a more influential member of the clan the rules were simple duel of fists only to first incapacitation. “Having spent most of his life smithing Anton had little in combat experience. As such he was losing badly until the other boy tackled him to the ground and started to choke him, he looked down at Anton and said, “look on the bright side, you’ll die with honor” At those words Anton’s world went red, honor? What does honor have to do with it he thought, he grabbed a handful of ash and threw it into his opponent's eyes, as the boy stumbled backwards Anton tackled him slamming him into the ground. The boy’s last image he saw was not of a monster or even a being filled with rage, but a boy crying tears for a father that left him all too soon. The boy’s head would hit a stone when falling, killing him on impact. Not too much later Anton was banished not only for killing the boy but for cheating in a duel, one of the most dishonorable crimes the Fireborne hold. From that moment the rage and bitterness toward his clan grew ever deeper, he would find himself alone and eventually leave the Ashlands altogether. As his rumination on the past concludes he answers more clearly. * “another chance at life” *he says as he looks towards the horizon with new hope*

(250 word minimum - please make sure to include at least three references to our lore in your response, with two coming from different pages in the Compendium.  Two of the three selected should also be in-depth, avoid simply name-dropping lore terms. Tie the terms into your character's backstory. Why are they important to them?)


Usage of AI to generate, modify or translate the writing on your application will result in denial of your whitelist. There will be no chance to re-apply afterwards.

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Character Name: Anton Everspring

Character Race: Greatling

Character Age: 25

 Brief Physical Description: Dark Stone-like skin, Bright Blue eyes, black hair and Vary Tall

Image of Skin and Figura Model:

Hello, my name is Ash, and I'll be reviewing your application! There are just a few things that are keeping me from approving this, which I'll list here:

• First off, keeping in line with our Roleplay Standards to lessen OOC bleed, applications and roleplay on the server should be kept to third-person, whereas I see here you've written some of your in-character section in first person. 
• As well, with our Roleplay Standards to lessen OOC bleed, I will need you to change Anton's name to be distinguishable from your username. This also helps avoid confusion between players!
• I see two lore references here, to the Ashlands, and the Dragon Tongue Pass; however, not only do we require three references to our lore, both of the references you've provided are fairly surface level. We require the lore references in whitelists to be a bit more in-depth than just passing mentions. 
• Most of your in-character section is narration, which is alright, however I would prefer if there was a bit more interaction with the prompt itself- have Anton tell the old lady what he's thinking about! 
• There are a few punctuation errors that make the section a bit difficult to read, such as quotations in the wrong places, run-on sentences / missing punctuation, and a lot of lowercase letters when they should be uppercase. These should be edited for readability. 
• Moving on to your character description section: if Anton is a full Greatling, he would not have the solid colored eyes of a Fey-Touched. If you would like to keep him full Greatling, the eyes on your skin will need to be changed to have discernable whites. If you would prefer to keep them as is, Anton's race will need to be changed to half Greatling, half Fey-Touched.
• I also have some concerns about Anton's skin tone- it looks a bit too blue, especially around the eyes. If you could desaturate the skin just a bit, that would fit better. 

Once you've edited your post to address these concerns, please send another message here so I'm notified and can take another look!

Hello! Unfortunately, as its been eight days with no response from you, I'm going to have to deny this application for inactivity. Please feel free to apply again in future!