OOC

Minecraft Username: Senia_

Are you at least 18 years old?: Yes

Have you read the rules? (Link): Yes

—

In-Character

Read the following prompt:

The rhythmic lull of hoofbeats are a marching drum to the small group of pioneers and variety of folk you have found yourself amongst, packed into a wobbling wagon. The rolling plains of the Southern Reach and a clear sky stretch out all around you, the buzz of excited chatter a dull wash in your ears as your mind strays to your former life and what has led you here to new lands.

“Nervous?”

You blink, returning to the present moment. A kindly older woman sat near you is smiling warmly with a crinkle to her eyes.

“I can tell it’s your first time. Still remember mine,” she flashes a grin and leans in.

“Tell me my dear, why have you come to the Reach?”

How do you respond (in character)? (150 words minimum - please make sure to include some references to our lore in your response!)

“Business,” I bluntly responded.

“Not much of a talker, are you?” the older woman inquired.

“It’s not that. I just don’t want to burden you with my problems,” I clarified. 

“Don’t worry, dear, it won’t be a burden. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to be nosy,” the older woman assured.

“In that case, I'll give you plenty to be nosy about. I came here for two reasons: to find my father, and to get revenge. He ran off when I was quite young, around when I was 5 I think. I don't know fully why, just that he was in debt to this group of vermin, these criminal scum, because he couldn't just stop drinking. When they found out he fled our home, they... they killed my mom..." I started choking up.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry dear. You don't have to continue if-"

"No, no it's fine. I need to get used to talking about it," I cut the elderly woman off. "After they killed her, they forced me to join them. Kids make for better pickpockets, they told me. I ended up staying with them until around a month ago, when I finally got the courage to make them pay for my mother's death. After that, I gathered that my father left our home, a small island in the Southern Ocean, past the Mist Isles. He came to the Reach, then planned to go northeast to the Faded Steppe and Fallstone, and now I must find him and make him pay for what he did, no matter the cost."

"Do you mean...?" the old woman was reluctant to ask.

"Most likely, yes. If I don't have to kill him, I won't, but his vices are the reason my mother, his wife, is dead. He deserves it."

"I see. If revenge is what you seek, then so be it. Just know that it may not bring the satisfaction you desire," the woman warned.

"I have already been told that by many before you. I'm certain this is what I want," I steadfastly held. "If I ask if you know anything about him, will you answer knowing what I may do?"

The woman thought for a bit before responding. "I cannot, I'm sorry."

"It's fine. You are a better person than I, then."

—

Character Name: Senia

Character Race: Human

Character Age: 19

Brief Physical Description: Senia is a slim, short young woman with terrible posture from her years sneaking around as a thief. Because she mostly went out at night to perform her criminal duties, she is pale and somewhat sickly looking. She has dyed her hair purple using a mix of indigo plant, red ballerina snail wings, vinegar, and alum, and has blue eyes. She wears the uniform the band of criminals she came from wore as a remembrance of what she has been through. 

Hey there! I'm Medicai, I'll be taking care of your application today.

So to start off your writings really great, you got a good head on your shoulders!
But the only real lore refrence here is the mention of the Portents.
For one, Fables tend not to be common knowledge, but something you find out about through roleplay and interacting with lore.
For two, You need to include a few more lore refrences.

Thank you!

Hi Medicai, I'm trying to rewrite it to include more lore references right now, but I'm struggling a bit. I can't really figure out a good way to add more without it sounding really disjointed and like I'm just listing off a bunch of stuff from the compendium. I looked at some of the approved applications and they seem to have a similar amount of references. Where would be some good spots to add in more stuff? Also, with the Portents mention, would it be possible for my character to learn about them through a book, or would it be something only discoverable through roleplay? 

Senia:

Hi Medicai, I'm trying to rewrite it to include more lore references right now, but I'm struggling a bit. I can't really figure out a good way to add more without it sounding really disjointed and like I'm just listing off a bunch of stuff from the compendium. I looked at some of the approved applications and they seem to have a similar amount of references. Where would be some good spots to add in more stuff? Also, with the Portents mention, would it be possible for my character to learn about them through a book, or would it be something only discoverable through roleplay? 

Hi hi, A good one to include is to mention your characters backstory.
And as for the portents mention, with that specific one I wouldn't say so, as they are a coven of witches you make a deal with. 

Okay, I removed the Portents mention, and I'll try to figure out what I can add. 

Still working on it, but for now I added a mention of the Southern Ocean/Mist Isles in the response to the prompt, and I changed what she uses for her hair dye. Instead of using matter root, she uses ballerina snail wings. The compendium only specified red and green wings, but said they come in a variety of colors. Would purple be one of them? If so, I'll just make it so she uses that for her dye. I'll add some more references when I figure out a good way of working them in.