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Denied AtogAtog Whitelist [Denied - Moony]
Started by AtogAtog1010202

OOC

Minecraft Username: AtogAtog1010202

Are you at least 18 years old?:Yes

Have you read the rules? (Link):Yes

(Optional) Were you referred by someone? If so, who: Blossum

(Optional) Introduce yourself if you’d like, as well as any creations you want to share (e.g. art, builds, skins):

In-Character

Read the following prompt:

The rhythmic lull of hoofbeats are a marching drum to the small group of pioneers and variety of folk you have found yourself amongst, packed into a wobbling wagon. The rolling plains of the Southern Reach and a clear sky stretch out all around you, the buzz of excited chatter a dull wash in your ears as your mind strays to your former life and what has led you here to new lands.

“Nervous?”

You blink, returning to the present moment. A kindly older woman sat near you is smiling warmly with a crinkle to her eyes.

“I can tell it’s your first time. Still remember mine,” she flashes a grin and leans in.

“Tell me my dear, why have you come to the Reach?”

How do you respond (in character)(150 words minimum - please make sure to include at least three references to our lore in your response, with two coming from different pages in the Compendium.)

His sharp red eyes regard the older woman as he thinks about how much he wants to reveal about himself to someone who is a stranger.  He then feels a slight pain from where his left arm used to be under the side cape. He then looks to her with a blank face.

"Nay I am not nervous I have travelled far and wide along the barren and ashen wastes of the Ashlands looking for someone, who has left to soon.  I am also travelling as a bit of an exile as I committed a distasteful act and lost my arm as part of the punishment."

He looks back to the older woman and starts to take a measure and thinks.

"If it must be known than it will be between only us.  I refused to marry an arranged marriage to one I didn't love.  She is a human Valk of the Midlands and I am the third Fireborne son of a high family in the heart of the Ashlands.  The marriage was political in nature and for refusing I had to compete in an honor duel.  Safe it to say I lost that duel and lost my arm at the shoulder.  However on my travels here I did encounter some rather interesting interpretations of the Great Dragon Spirit story from where I am from.  Some call it a myth others say it may rise one day and bring calamity with its rebirth.  Who is say that these interpretations are right or wrong.  Only the elders know."  

Continues to look her in the eyes and says no more.

 

 

 

Character Name: Daigron of house Liara

Character Race: Half-elf, Half Fey-touched 

Character Age: 50

Brief Physical Description: Daigron is a 6'0" tall Half elf Fey touched of the Fireborne.  He has sharp red eyes, long white hair often kept in a tight ponytail.  He wears a side cape to cover the area where his arm used to be.  He carries a saber at his side and is out on a quest.

  • x1

Hello! I'm Moony and I'll be handling your application today. 

So far your application is on the right track, however, there are a few minor things we need to iron out before I can continue to process your application:

- I think you need to include at least one more distinct lore reference in your written test.
- Your character cannot have glowing eyes. They may be red as both Arsa Side and Fey-Touched have red eyes, but they cannot be glowing. 

If you have any questions or concerns regarding these points feel free to contact me through the forums or through Avalore's Discord.

Ok I fixed the minor things I think.

Okay! My final comment would be asking you to do a grammar and spell-check of your written test to polish it up. This is just to ensure your writing standards are up to par with what the community expects. As with before feel free to reach out if you need help or have any questions. It would also be nice if you could mention the lore you referenced in a deeper aspect. Relate it to your character and show why that lore is important to them. 

Unfortunately I'm going to have to deny your application at this time because it is has been over a week with no response. Please feel free to reapply when you have the time, and remember to check for my critiques from the original application. 

As with before, if you have any questions or concerns feel free to reach out to me here on the forums or through Avalore's Discord where I'm also Moony.