The Academic's Guide to Fey
Penned by Yarrow Neredas | Reflection 17th
Preface: This piece is intended to educate, inform, and prepare the reader for interactions with the beings most commonly known as 'Fey'. Danger lurks around every corner in these troubled times, so my hope is for this editorial to aid those that are less knowledgeable about the strange and unknowable beings that seem to plague us. Most of the information in the guide will be directly from personal accounts and research, and I ask any whom are interested in researching Fey to please find me within the Cork & Cauldron; I hope to update this posting bi-weekly to monthly. Regardless, do not take any piece of advice offered in this piece as absolute gospel, because it is just that; Advice. No fact can strangle Fey, for they seem to slip and slide within metaconceptual reality. Therefore, accept each part of this guide with a grain of salt, for it cannot exactly describe every interaction or every Fey you meet. Read well, and trust your instincts more than your senses, for your primal desire to survive cannot be tricked.
Fey: There are many types of Fey, and they have many names. Other words for them are Fey, Fay, Fae, Farie, Faerie, Pixie, Seelie, Boggart, Leprechaun, Kelpie, Quickling, Sylph, or Waif. Generally, they do not abide by the laws of our nature understood by Man, nor the laws of rationality or reality. Conversing with one is incredibly dangerous and can lead to cursing, hexing, bad luck, loss of limbs, loss of life, loss of the soul, loss of cognitive function, comas, concussions, hyperfixation, mind control, and any other maladous calamity that one's body might endure. It should also be known that Fey are not animals such as you or I, but beings comprised mostly of magic; Ether, specifically. Additionally, they seem to have some other aspect that gives them life; I believe it has something to do with their nurture, and the ideas, emotions, and concepts that surround them. If there is only one thing you take away from this reading, make it that the best defense against Fey is to avoid them entirely.
Hierarchy: The Fey appear to have a certain social hierarchy on their plane of existence. This is accounted for by the existence of Archfey, whom appear to act as either leaders, monarchs, nobles, gods, or Fey that are generally more powerful and influential. Avoid these Fey at all cost. Additionally, most Fey belong to some Court. For example, the Court of the Monsoon. It is a sort of clan, or faction of Fey, that act within the same boundary of each other. There are different tiers of the Court as well, such as Low Monsoon or High Monsoon. Fey of different levels of power belong to each respective court.
Procedures for Fey Interaction: This section intends to offer miscellaneous advice to be followed when the situation one finds themselves in calls for it.
- Fey cannot tell lies.
- Never tell a Fey your name.
- If you believe you are outwitting a Fey, you are not.
- If you believe you are under scrutiny by Fey, ensure your room is clean and tidy every night. If you find it messy when you arrive home, pretend like nothing is strange and clean it up.
- If you find small toys or trinkets in places that do not make sense, do not take them.
- If your reflection offers you it's hand, do not take it. If the reflection was in a mirror, bury it.
- If you notice that a friend, family member, or lover has longer arms, thicker legs, or that something is simply 'off' about how they look, do not trust them. Hastily abandon your home.
- Never consume food offered by Fey. You may accept it as a gift, however.
- If you are in the woods at night and you see a light in the distance, only follow it if you are lost with no way of finding civilization.
- If a Fey offers to assign you a name, nickname, designation, or title, politely decline.
- If a Fey makes a statement in which it refers to you by a name, nickname, designation, or title that it itself gave to you, ignore the statement as if it had not been said.
- Avoid any Fey that regard you with romantic feelings or feelings of attraction, and make no statements reciprocating these feelings. The statements are false.
- If a Fey offers you tea, accept it graciously but do not drink from the teacup.
- If a Fey appears harmless or innocent, do not approach.
- If a stranger offers you seeds to plant, discard them immediately and spread salt throughout your garden to kill any life within it.
- If a fortune teller offers to show you your fate through the use of cards, do not look at the cards under any circumstance. If you believe you may have no choice but to view the cards, immediate removal of the eyes is recommended.
